Escape Characters

Hard boot

I had a strange dream last night. Unfortunately, not one that I can recall its content, nor even a rough description, or even how it made me feel.

The last thing I remember was that I was eating something. Something small, like a pill. I get the impression it was some kind of drug.

The strange part was that when I put it in my mouth, I immediately woke up. And at that same moment, my right ear started buzzing, with the intensity and volume of an insect flying next to your ear. Almost like something shorted out momentarily, feeding noise back to my brain. Awake, I waited for a moment, staring at the ceiling, seeing if the noise would return. It didn't. Everything was quiet.

I woke up this morning feeling strange. Not tired, but disoriented. Not confused, but disconnected. Maybe it's because I was getting up to go and do my taxes this morning, but I was worried. Since I've seen this, I can't help but worry that similar things might happen. Going about my routine: showering, clothing myself, brushing my teeth, the worry slowly subsided. Though, watching myself tie my shoes, watching my hands manipulate the strings to tie knots in a well-practiced orchestration, I couldn't help but think that it was barely "me" tying the shoes, and that I was just along for the ride. "This is a test," I said to myself, hoping nobody else heard. My best attempt at diagnostics, I guess.

I've taken a number of psychology and biology courses. None claim that they understand consciousness, though they do have good ideas about where its pieces are located, or at least, where they could be. For all their assertions, the idea it seemed they were trying to get across is that there is an implied interface between consciousness and our existence (as we, ourselves, are never instructing single neurons to fire in order to, say, keep our heart beating, or walk, talk, etc).

I guess my interface had a rough night last night.